Light II

He had no idea where he was.

And a strong feeling that he had never experienced before occupied his mind little by little.

The light was still there. So dim and nebulous was it that the dread of being encircled again by the darkness swiftly crept up from the bottom of his heart. Though he managed to shift his feet with all his strength, he could hardly budge an inch.

Brimming with confusion, he cast a glance at the ground, but only to find blur in his sight. Apparently he was trapped in a funny dream, which was made up of what he had sustained in reality.

Weak as it was, the light still produced warmth like the sun. He knew clearly the sensation of basking. The sunlight was gentle and mild. The feeling of extreme familiarity brought him back to his childhood.

He vaguely remembered that all around him were glee and thrill when he was a infant. Often his parents took him out, holding him in the arms, bathed in the sunshine. Pure and innocent, he enjoyed everything he heard, smelled, touched and tasted, not being aware of the fact that there existed something called vision, which he later thirsted for.

In his memories, his parents never loved him. Oh, maybe they were, before his third birthday. It was unbelievable that a three-year-old little boy could bear so many things in mind such as hearing a baby’s weep and his parents’ mirth, as well as realizing his disability, which had bothered him for what seemed like centuries. In fact, the voices kept reverberating in his mind, and continued pushing him to the verge of collapse. He considered that day a turning point of his life.

“My third birthday.” He smiled wryly, “My last birthday.”

He had no intention, and did not willing, to grumble at his parents. What made all the things transpire was his blindness. Even he felt guilty, and believed that himself was to blame. It was him that let his parents down, and that lost courage to live. It was his disadvantage that made him an object of ridicule, and that surrounded him with the deepest darkness. Had he not been blind, everyone would have lived a better life.

Few merry moments could be found in his recollections afterwards. Or maybe… he pretended to have forgotten them?

He did not stop searching in his memories until the light began to peter out. His mental pain slightly alleviated as he pulled himself out of mind-wandering.

But an old saying told by his grandpa suddenly emerged in his brain, which sent shudder down his spine, “Only when a person is about to depart this world will he look back upon his entire life.”

For the first time in his life, his heart was seized by such unimaginable fear, and it nearly ceased bounding.

And there went off the light, silently, remaining darkness.